...at least, this week.
Today I felt great! No headache, no nausea, no cramps, nothing! I had energy!!! I was all upbeat, instead of all beaten up! Nice change.
I made use of my energy and good mood to film a message addressing the global gathering that will take place next week in Tanzania, which I worked on during the whole year, and which I will obviously not attend. It felt bittersweet.
One of my doctors told me that I had two choices: I could see the cancer as something that is ruining all my plans and work, and therefore resist it, be miserable and frustrated. The other choice was to see it as an opportunity to prioritize myself, take care of myself, and understand that everything else falls behind because I come first.
I am trying to stick to the latter. But I can't help feeling that I am missing out on tons of things. I don't want to be sick, and I have only been an obedient patient because I feel like crap. But as soon as I feel good, even if only for one day, I want to jump on a plane and fly to Dar es Salaam.
Conclusion: yes, I am an extrovert. But, I am ALSO stubborn and still not ready to give up on being invincible, at least in my head.
I really like what the doctor told you about using it as an opportunity to take care of yourself. Although it's hard to implement - and of course, it's horrible to be sick - illness is what often forces us to let go and prioritize ourselves. When our physical and mental health is at serious risk, what normally seems extremely important becomes less so. Big hugs, my friend!
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