Might this be the last round...

Of discomfort, nausea, and other less pleasant symptoms? This last AC scheme hit me hard, and I have been dizzy, weak and feeling awful pretty much most of the time.

I made a case of not complaining too loud, because it is the last one. But it has not been pretty.

Tomorrow is our appointment with the onc surgeon. He will examine the state of the heroic boob, and I am sure that he will be pleased to see that the scar finally looks completely sealed. Maybe he will give me some tips to make it fade quicker? He might even explain why, when I touch the left end of the scar, it tingles beneath my arm, almost on the back... I feel like this frog I read about in primary school, whose belly skin had been replaced with back skin and, as a result, he would scratch his back when touched on the belly. :)

Supposedly the doctor will also prescribe my full PET, which will finally let us know if the gremlins are gone. I think that they are gone, for good. At night, when I wake up because of the hot flashes, I sometimes wonder if there might be a trace left of the cancer. But I always feel that the answer to that question is a definite and non-negotiable NO. Now I want to hear it from the doctor. I want the ultimate scientific proof.

Don't hold your breath. It will take a couple of weeks til we get there...

The chemical romance came to an end yesterday...

And we did not want you to miss it!!!!

Here is a picture of Gabo and me, playing silly, at the hospital. We were so happy that this was the last session that we brought cake for the nurses and doctors.

And we escaped late at night from the hospital and came back home.

Today, I have not been feeling good. My head aches and my tummy feels funny again, but me spirit remains unbeaten.

It is over!!!!

Let's find the exquisite pleasures that radiation has in storage.

In the swimming pool...

Today, I went swimming for the first time since Sitges, in August, with Shaamela and Ann. The oncologist told me on Tuesday that I could start swimming. And I have been suffering from pain all along my left arm, with tendons that feel hard as over-strechted cables. I called my arm doctor in the morning and she said that swimming would help.

It was such a wonderful sensation to be in the water!!! I spent half an hour swimming slowly, feeling the liquid sensation all around me, enjoying every second of it. The water was extremely pleasant, comforting, liberating. It felt like another small step back to normalcy.

My arm feels a bit better now. If I am not exhausted tomorrow after this extenuating exercise (LOL--the side effects of seven months under house arrest are terrible...) I will go again tomorrow or on Sunday. It was WONDERFUL!

And, the final countdown has begun: next Tuesday is my LAST chemo session.

I. Can't. Believe. It.

Betsy and Cecile were here...

...and I felt sooooo happy. We went to Queretaro, and spent three days with the Lagartos. Getting out of the house, sitting in a garden, chatting with people I love, was just wonderful.

My white blood cells were plummeting and I had neuropathy on the right side of my face/head during the last week, but there was so much joy that I was able to ignore it most of the time.

Yesterday we went to see the oncologist, and he programmed for next Tuesday what will be my VERY LAST CHEMO SESSION. Let me repeat that: MY VERY FUCKING LAST CHEMO SESSION IS ON APRIL 10.

After that, a PET scan will be run. And if it is clean, the port will be extracted. I cannot really grasp it yet.

Of course, there still is the radio therapy. It has been confirmed and I have the name of the doctor who will be responsible of that piece of the treatment, which will start in May.

But this week, I will not think about radiation. I will only think about the fact that chemo is almost over. Seven months have gone by since I went into surgery...

I loved everything of being normal again...

The week with my friends and colleagues was such a wonderful break from reality. I loved every second of it, and scrapped together every tiny bit of energy, to keep going.

The opportunity to feel mentally active, engaged and useful, was delicious. I confirmed that, despite being invisible, my friends have me in their thoughts constantly, and are waiting for me to come back.

I had so much fun and joy. I ate as if I wasn't poisoned, enjoying every bite. I laughed. I joked. I danced. I felt happy and normal.

One more thing to add to my list of positives--the support of my IBP family in getting back as if I haven't been missing in action.

No Neulasta for this baby!!!

Although I required it, the doctor gave me a break from "nasty neulasty". He said there was no need to make me feel like crap. Originally, I would be getting my third AC chemo session today and, in that case, I would have needed the nasty stuff to have acceptable white blood cell levels. But, my chemo will be postponed by 10 days, because of the IBP retreat. And I have not had fever or any kind of misery this far. YAY!!

This week has also been exceptionally good... I have worked, I went to the movies, and I have eaten with gusto. The only constant shortcoming is fatigue, which means that my energy runs for less than half of what would be normal. However, while it lasts, I feel almost normal. Of course, once I look in the mirror and see that weird, hairless alien starring back at me, normal is gone.

Tomorrow my IBP family start arriving. I am so very much looking forward to seeing them, spending time with them, and enjoying yet another taste of normal. I will be staying with them at the hotel, to avoid losing my battery in traffick (not the car's, but mine... Truly like The Matrix). The second half of the retreat will be in Valle.

This will be the first time in over six months that I will get out of the house with a destination that is not the hospital!!! Oh. My. Dog.

E-X-C-I-T-I-N-G! ! !

Indeed a wonderfully normal week...

I have been working in my newly decorated office all week, sitting on the couch, watching how spring starts to arrive in Mexico City. I went to Manu's place on Wednesday, and enjoyed driving, being outside and seeing her and Tania. I giggled over and played with the many silly, playful presents that Betsy sent me. We walked the doggies. We played Guitar Hero. We ate delicious soups that Manu's mum prepared for me. And we even went to Mariana's b-day party...

Such a nice, enjoyable week.

My next appointment with the doctor is on Monday. My blood work already indicates that my white blood cells are taking the plunge. And I can feel it... I am losing energy, my eyes are swollen, and my head aches slightly. I cross my fingers and my toes, hoping that I will not need another offensively expensive and incredible painful Neulasta shot...

Please, please, pretty please?